Wow, another almost 2 years since I've written. The rest of 2014 was much of the same, but by the grace of God Michael was found, put into a recovery program, and we started to reconnect. He also reconnected with The Lord. On February 7, 2015 I received a call from his brother that Michael had been taken to the hospital. He had been suffering with a cold which kept getting worse. I tried to get him to go to the hospital but he was stubborn and waited too long. He was very weak and his heart just was too tired. He passed away that morning. So, for a second time Michael was taken away from me and the grieving started all over again. This time though, as strange as it might sound, it was more like he was taken Home; no more suffering, no more pain, OK. I doubt I will ever stop missing him, well at least until it's my turn to go Home to be with him.
My best friend of 14 years, without any indication or explanation, sent me an awful email of issues she had with me. I had just lost my husband for the second time and was hit with a rat getting into my house. I probably didn't handle it as well as I could, but it was kind of the last straw and freaked me out. I thought she was so awesome to be helping me and standing by me. I was so grateful. Then I get his with this email full of crap. We were going to talk about it, but that never happened, she just walked away. Now it's too late. Nothing would ever be the same and I would never be able to trust her again. Time to let go and move on.
My other dear friend moved to Tennessee with her husband a few years ago. It's so sad that they were only there for what seemed like nothing and she lost him; he succumbed to his many health issues. Now she is living in their home alone with her kitty. Like me now, I live alone with my new little kitty. We have talked a great deal about my moving out there. I have family and other friends, who did live here, and others I've only interacted with online through my new found love of wine. (Naked Wines). Another friend who I dated many years ago had moved to Kentucky. Sadly he passed away recently, January 6, 2016. At any rate as long as I continue to love my job and it is paying the bills I will continue to stay in California. But I have a plan B just in case.
2016 is my year of new discovery and growth. I have been introduced to a wonderful speaker/author. She holds classes and group meeting in emotional intelligence, and growth. Meetups.com has some wonderful groups to help get me back into a little socializing. I don't know if it's a new chapter or a whole new book. Whatever it is it's probably going to be the last one. Looking back it seems my life has been in spurts of about 15 year increments. I'm excited about where this year will take me. I'm afraid if it's not this year it will never happen. I am determined.
God Bless!!!!
